iDance
by Cukeygirl
Summary: Set sometime in Season 4. It's a dance off competition! iCarly competes in a web celebrity dance off. What happens when Gibby can't compete? Will Freddie be forced to dance with Sam? And why does Spencer want to make a giant bottle out of bottle caps?
1. Chapter 1

**iDance Off**

**CH One**

"... and that's the proper way to melt old crayons in a microwave!" Sam smiled gleefully into Freddie's camera.

"That's all from iCarly for tonight. But remember..." Carly bounced next to her.

"Recycle your underwear." Sam said.

"Reuse your coffee filters," Carly said.

"And reduce your deodorant usage!" they said together.

Freddie smiled and fought laughter as always. "And we're clear!" He clicked a few buttons and set his camera down. He smiled up at the girls. "Good show tonight, guys."

"Of course!" Carly sent him a bright smile and rolled her eyes as she began to clean up the mess of melted crayons. Freddie began to help her out.

Sam plopped onto the nearest beanbag and muttered loudly. "It would have been better if you'd've let us pour the melted crayons on Fredbag."

Freddie narrowed his eyes at the blonde headed demon. She ignored him and pulled out a piece of beef jerky to munch on.

"Sam!" Carly said in her usual scolding voice. "He could have gotten third degree burns."

Sam waved her beef jerky. "Nah, second degree burns but not third degree."

Freddie dropped what he was doing and marched in front of her. "If you're so willing to come up with cruel ways to entertain our fans then why don't you volunteer yourself, Pucket?"

Sam scoffed at him but she stood up. "One, they're mine and Carly's fans. Not yours, got it? Two, because that's what I do! I come up with the plans and you are my sometimes unwilling victim."

Freddie got a murderous look in his eyes. He pointed a finger and looked down into her laughing eyes. "Look you-"

Sensing a dangerous outcome, Carly stepped in between them. "Okay! Let's not do this right now. The Dance Off final starts in twenty minutes and I want to get this done before-"

"Dance Off is tonight?" Sam asked her shocked. She slaps Freddie on the arm. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Freddie rubs his arm and yells back at her. "What do I look like? You're own personal TiVo?"

"Well you're face is flat enough-"

"Ok! Enough, let's get this cleaned up and we can order some food- Sam? Where are you going?" Carly called out as her best friend headed out.

"Gonna heat up some popcorn. I'll go keep the couch warm for you."

Freddie rolled his eyes at the ceiling but kept on cleaning. Typical Sam, always leaving him or Carly to clean up the mess. Of course, he knew that if he really needed help Sam would be there. Begrudgingly, but she'd be there.

"One of these days... I swear I'm going to have... a serious talk with that girl about her responsibilities around- why are you laughing?" Carly snapped at Freddie.

"Cause! You always say that. And you never do anything. Face it, Sam will never live up to any commitment that means hard work," he pointed out.

"Yeah I know, but it helps to vent," Carly admitted.

"Yo Freduccini!" Sam yelled from below.

"What?" Freddie yelled back.

"The pizza guy needs to be tipped, come down here with your wallet!"

"Pizza guy?" Freddie said in a normal voice. "I didn't order any-"

Carly looked at him pointedly.

He narrowed his eyes and flared his nose. "SAM!"

"What? Will you hurry up? The pizza's getting cold and this guy wont' let me eat it until you pay him."

Carly laughed. "You'd better get down there before she rips they guys arm off and gets arrested... again."

Freddie looked tempted. Carly arched her brows. "No! We. Do. Not. Get. Friends. Arrested."

His lips pouted. "Fine."

The scene wasn't pretty in the living room. He separated a harassed looking delivery guy and a deranged Sam. "What's your problem?"

"My problem? This nub wouldn't give me my pizza!" Sam whined.

Freddie scoffed. "Here man, take an extra five for your trouble."

The delivery guy took the money gratefully. "Man... your one patient guy. Good luck with your girlfriend."

He saw the look on Sam's face and escaped, leaving a confuse looking Freddie and a disgusted looking Sam.

Once he was gone, Sam and Freddie exchanged looks. It was Sam who broke their stunned silence first. "Let's never speak of this again."

"Agreed." Freddie answered immediately. Carly jaunted down the stairs.

"Mmm, finally!" Sam took a slice of pizza and bit into it. Freddie yanked the slice back and held it above her head.

"What's your chizz, Freddummy?" Sam yelled.

"You! You leave me and Carly to clean up the mess upstairs, then you order a pizza and make ME pay for it, then you assault the delivery guy, and you ask what my chizz is?" Freddie yelled, keeping the pizza slice out of her reach.

She jumped trying to get it back. "Yeah so? What's your point?"

"My point it- ugh!" he dropped the slice and doubled over. Sam had lost her patience and punched him in the stomach. She smiled and picked up her slice of the floor, blew any dust off and took a big bite.

"Sam!" Carly scolded and went to Freddie's side. "Are you ok?"

She helped him sit down on the couch and sat next to him. Freddie's face was pale.

"Just peachy." He panted.

"See he's fine! Now scoot over, the show's about to start." She plopped down on Freddie's other side.

He gave her an incredulous look which she took as hunger. Feeling slightly guilty for causing him pain, she offered him a bite.

"Want some?" she shoved the half-eaten slice in his face.

"Didn't that fall on the floor?" he asked disgusted.

"Ew." Carly scrunched her nose.

Sam shrugged. "I picked it up before the five seconds were up."

Freddie stared at her with his mouth open. "Thanks... but I'll just get my own slice."

The door burst open and Spencer ran in. "Did I miss it?"

"Shhh! It's starting!" Sam yelled. She yanked Freddie's barely eaten slice and stuffed it in her mouth. Freddie narrowed his eyes at her. She stared back at him clueless.

"Ya weren gon eat tha' wer ya?" she mouthed around the pizza.

Freddie scoffed and shook his head.

Spencer grabbed a chair and scooted it over to the couch. "Shhh! It's starting."

"...And welcome to the finale of...Dance Off! I'm Danny Mayhem..." a middle-aged handsome man introduced the show.

"That dude is so old! How come they can't get someone like Ryan Seacrest?" Sam asked.

"Dude, Ryan Seacrest is like forty! Danny Mayhem's only like five years older." Freddie argued.

"Thereisnotalkingduringtheshow!" Spencer yelled.

Sam and Freddie both raised there hands and shut up.

"...now, as you all know, we are down to our last two celebrity couples. Melanie Foster, daytime soap star, and Gideon Slater, former heavy weight champ against supermodel Serena and Steven Bishop, international best-selling author!"

"Go Gideon! Beat that skunkbag model! Raaahh!" Sam jumped onto the couch and screamed, knocking Freddie's second uneaten slice to the floor.

"She very excited," Carly said lowly into his ear.

He rolled his eyes and gave her a sarcastic reply. "Ya think?"

"...when we come back, we'll reveal who America voted the champion of, Dance Off!" "Can you believe that nub and the skunkbag model made it this far?" Sam asked jumping down from the couch and walked the fridge and pulled out a root beer bottle. Freddie followed her and grabbed a juice pouch.

"Well Serena is a really good dancer. I heard she took ballet le-"

"Oh who asked you, Freddini!" Sam threw the bottle cap at him.

Freddie being accustomed to constant abuse, was ready for it and ducked. "Hah! You missed!"

"OW!" Spencer yelped. The bottle cap had stuck to his forehead.

Carly's eyes widened and she gave both Sam and Freddie a nasty look. Freddie immediately pointed at Sam.

"I think it's imbedded in my skull!" Spencer yelled as he tried to pull it out.

"Here let me try." Carly approached him and tried to pull it off. "Ew. Ok, it's really stuck in there!"

"Here let me try," Sam shoved her bottle into Freddie's stomach. He grunted but grabbed her root beer nonetheless.

She climbed over Carly and sat next to Spencer on the couch. Before she even lifted a hand, Spencer whimpered.

"Ow! It hurts, its hurts!"

Sam scoffed. "I haven't even touched it, yet!"

Spencer looked at her sideways and sulked. "I know, I'm just practicing."

Carly giggled. "Just sit still while Sam performs this very delicate procedure."

"That's two words that should never be put in the same sentence: Sam and delicate." Freddie quipped.

Sam whirled her head at Freddie and narrowed her eyes. "Listen nub-"

"Hey!" Spencer yelled. "Could we focus on the piece of metal that's stuck to my forehead?"

"Yeah, the show's about to start and I wanna see who wins," Carly protested.

They all turned to stare at her. She looks at them guiltily before hissing at them. "What? I've been hanging around Sam for years! I was bound to say something selfish eventually."

Sam took the opportunity that everyone was distracted to yank the bottle cap out of Spencer's head.

"AAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!"

"Oh man up!" both Freddie and Sam yelled simultaneously. Sam and Freddie stared at one another.

"Ok, you guys gotta stop doing that," Carly said weirded out.

"Shhhh! It's back on!" Spencer shoved Carly aside to raise the volume.

"Whoa!" Carly landed on the far corner of the couch.

Freddie and Sam fought over the last spot on the couch. Freddie lost, Sam won.

"And now, it's time to hear who will be the next winner of, Dance Off!" Danny Mayhem announced enthusiastically. "But first the celebrity judges will each give their thoughts on each couples techniques. Let's start with you Scarpino..." "Ugh! I hate it when those overblown nubs give their "thoughts"! Who cares what a bunch of has-beens think! Say the winners!" Sam yelled at the TV.

"I dunno, Scarpino had his own label for like ten years before he sold it to Jumbo Records-"

Sam looked down at Freddie who was sitting on the floor next to the couch. "Who the chizz asked you?"

He flattened his mouth and narrowed his eyes. "Well _I'm_ rooting for Serena and Steven Bishop."

Sam laughed. "Of course you are! You and every other geek in America. The supermodel and the geeky author paired together, who else are you gonna vote for?"

"I gotta say I agree with Sam here. Besides that author guy always misses steps. And Gideon Slater's got some hot moves," Carly pointed out.

"You're just saying that cause you think Gideon's hot," Freddie said sourly.

"Of course she does, nubface. What sane girl will pick brains over muscles?"

Freddie opened his mouth to argue but was interrupted.

"Shhh!" both Spencer and Carly shushed.

"And now the moment you've all been waiting for. This season's winning couple is... Gideon Slater and Melanie Foster!" the announcer yelled.

"Oh yeah, baby!" Sam jumped up and danced around the couch.

"Go Gideon!" Carly yelled and jumped on the couch.

Freddie and Spencer exchanged looks.

"You wanna a pizza slice?" Freddie offered.

Spencer looked depressed for one second and shrugged. "Yeah sure."

"...and now listen up all you online viewers. In a few weeks we'll be having a special three week session of Dance Off, where all prize money will go to charity. We'll let you online viewers submit your nominations for which internet stars that will compete the next Dance Off competition. Till then have a good night and dance off!" He waved as the credits began rolling over the tv.

"OMG! Did you guys hear that?" Carly screeched.

"What that Serena lost? You don't have to rub it-"

"Spencer! They just said that they were going to have internet stars as their next competitors!" Carly screeched.

"We could totally do that!" Sam said.

"Yeah but we've got be nominated." Freddie reminded her as he cleaned up the mess in the living room.

"Oh right..." Sam and Carly said together.

Freddie looked bummed but then got an idea. "What if... we put on our own version of Dance Off?"

"Huh?" Carly asked.

"What do you mean Fredwart?" Sam asked.

"I think I can feel my bone," Spencer touched his wound gingerly.

"Well we could do a small segment with you guys competing against each other and we could let the viewers vote online. AND we could also casually remind them about nominating iCarly for Dance Off," Freddie explained.

"Yeah! And we could get Gibby and Spencer to be our partners!" Carly danced around excited.

"I call Spencer!" Sam raised her hand.

Freddie and Carly laughed.

"Ok... it's starting to bleed more!" Spencer yelled.

"Is it okay if I change partners?" Sam turned to Carly.

"No! You called what you get. Come on Spencer let's get you a bandage," Carly went to the restroom.

"I was thinking more like an ER..." Spencer trailed behind her.

"I'm gonna head out now." Freddie threw away the last of the garbage.

"Awww... is it past your bedtime?" Sam cooed as she threw herself lengthwise on the couch.

Freddie narrowed his eyes at her. "No! I just have that... homework thing..."

"What homework thing?" Sam asked suspiciously.

Freddie looked uncomfortable. "You know for chemistry..."

Sam laughed. "We've got chemistry together, I don't remember any assignment."

"That's cause you sleep through half the class all the time."

Sam nodded. "This is true. But not today's class. We've been working with explosive chemicals this week remember? I'm not gonna miss out on how to make explosives."

Freddie sighed. "Fine. My mom's got us signed up for Mother/Son ballroom dance lessons. Her cousing Mildred's gettin married in six weeks and she wants to be able to show off her new 'skills.' She makes me practice with her every night before bed."

"Hahahahahaha!" Sam cackled. "That's awesome! Please let me come watch you! I'll pay you two hundred to let me tape you-"

"Forget it!" He snapped. Freddie turned and yelled towards the restroom. "I'm leaving Carly! See you tomorrow!"

"No wait!" Sam got up and stopped him from leaving. "I'll pay you three hundred dollars to just watch you. No camera."

"No! Move."

"Four hundred, and I'll just listen from the next room."

"I said no, Sam!"

"All right! Five hundred and I'll watch from the window."

"No- " He stared at her. "The window? We're eight stories up!"

She shrugged. "I'll just use the window washer's platform."

He growled and suddenly pointed to the tv. "Oh look they're advertising bacon scented pencils!"

She whirled around. "What?"

He took advantage of the moment and ran out. "See ya at school."

Turning back she chased after him but reached his door too late. He'd locked it already. After two minutes of yelling and threatening she shrugged.

"Eh, I'll give him a wedgie tomorrow."


	2. Chapter 2

CH 2

The halls of Ridgeway High were semi-crowded as a few stragglers still hung around before the second bell. Sam, having always made it a point to never be on time for class unless she (A) respected the teacher or (B) it was lunch, took her time cleaning out her mini fridge. It was a chore she didn't mind doing since it meant more room for more food.

She sniffed a large container full of lime green goo. She wasn't sure if it had been at one point lime green gelatin or some kind of green colored chicken soup that coagulated. Deciding it was better to be on the safe side (darn those meat parasites!) she asked Carly.

"Hey Carls," she tapped her best friend, who was happily trying to decide who was hotter; the new freshman, Mark Taylor who was tall and had been held back a grade, or Trevor Librano, a cute Spanish exchange student who spoke with a lisp.

"Huh? Yeah, what is it?" she answered distracted. Trevor was wearing his soccer team uniform, it made him look very hot.

"Do you think it's ok to eat this lime green goo that smells kinda like chicken?" Sam shoved it right under Carly's nose.

"Ew! No, gross! And thanks a lot by the way. From now on I will forever associate chicken smelling lime green goo with Trevor the hottie!" Carly shove the container out of her face.

Sam smirked. "Cool, means I can totally drool over him and not feel weird that you're drooling too."

Carly laughed and was about to retort but was interrupted by a rushed looking Freddie.

"Hey guys, I think we're gonna have a problem with the Dance Off bit tonight," he said without even saying hi.

"Well, good morning to you too, Fredward," Sam said.

He rolled his eyes and dismissed her sarcasm.

Carly shushed Sam. "Why? What's wrong?"

"It's Tasha. She said she doesn't think it's a good idea for Gibby to dance with someone other than her." Freddie explained.

"Aw great! Thanks to Gibby's dumb hot girlfriend our chances of being on Dance Off are going down the flush express." Sam complained.

"Hey!" Gibby said from behind her. "She happens to be a B student!"

"Sorry, Gibby." Carly apologized for Sam as usual. "Sam didn't' mean to insult Tasha. She's just upset."

Carly looked pointedly at Sam, who rolled her eyes. "Yeah... sorry I called your weird girlfriend dumb."

Freddie and Carly looked at Sam incredulously. But Gibby accepted.

"Apology accepted. Anyway, there's a reason Tasha doesn't want me to dance with anyone," he mumbled.

"And the..." said Freddie.

"...reason is?" said Sam.

Gibby blushed a little and shrugged. "It's cause on our first date we went dancing and she said she was... um so impressed by my dancing she... sorta... kinda fell in love with me."

Sam laughed. "Wait, she doesn't want you to dance with Carly cause she's afraid Carly will fall in love with you?"

Freddie and Carly started laughing, but stopped when Gibby gave them a look. "Sorry."

"Look, what if instead of me and Carly dance, it's me and Tasha, and Spencer and Sam?" Gibby suggested.

Carly shook her head. "It still leaves me partnerless."

"I don't think that's even a word," Freddie smiled.

"Oh you know what I mean!" Carly snapped. She turned back to Gibby. "Isn't there anyway to change her mind?"

Gibby shook his head. "No. She says if I do it, she won't let me walk around without my shirt in public anymore."

The three of them stared at each other confused. Sam scratched her head in confusion.

"Okay..." Carly said slowly.

Gibby's face lit up and he pointed at Freddie. "Hey! Why don't you and Freddie team up?"

"Uh..." Carly said.

"Well..." Freddie said uncomfortably.

"He can't you nub," Sam rolled her eyes. "Who's gonna tape the show?"

"Well he doesn't have to tape all of it! Someone can take over the camera when he's dancing. I mean it's not like we haven't all taken the camera before when he's in a skit or something," Gibby pointed out.

"I dunno..." Carly said uncertain.

"Yeah..." Freddie agreed.

"What's with you two?" Gibby asked.

Sam scoffed. "They think it might be a little weird to be dancing partners since they almost 'dated'."

"Ahhh" Gibby realized.

"No we don't!" both Carly and Freddie said simultaneously.

"Uh huh," Sam rolled her eyes and looked annoyed.

"Well, why don't you and Sam partner up?" Gibby asked.

"Say what now?" Sam scoffed.

"Que cosa?" Freddie's mouth dropped.

But Carly's face lit up. "That might work! And having an extra couple like Tasha and Gibby will make things more interesting."

"If by interesting in you mean I might puke if Fredpus touches me, than yeah," Sam snapped.

"I hate to say this but I kinda agree with Sam here," Freddie said sourly. "Ugh! I feel like I said something dirty."

"Come on you guys! Doing this skit might just be the step we need to get nominated for Dance Off! And who knows we might even win on Dance Off! You guys know how big a deal this is for iCarly. So what do you guys say... will you do it? For me?" Carly gave them both puppy eyes.

Freddie and Sam exchanged looks then looked at Carly.

"No." Sam said bluntly.

"Not a chance." Fred agreed.

Carly growled. "Ok I didn't want to bring this up but you forced me to... if you guys can stand to kiss for like ten seconds-"

"It was eight!" Freddie and Sam protested.

"You two KISSED?" Gibby gasped.

"Whatever! If you guys can be able to kiss for that long and not puke than you can two can be dance partners!" She shrieked.

The few people that were around them gasped. Sam and Freddie looked panicked.

"Uhhh... we're rehearsing a skit for iCarly," Carly explained.

"Ohhhh." The crowd around them nodded. After they'd dispersed, Sam turned to Carly.

"Look if I agree to dance with...this thing-"

"Hey! I'm a 'he' not a thing!" Freddie protested.

"Will you let me do a skit sometime in the future that might be potentially dangerous to Freddie?" she continued.

"How dangerous?" she asked quickly.

"Maybe some stitches, possible fractures, no surgery." Sam answered immediately.

"For me or Freddie?" Carly asked.

"Freddie of course!" Sam smiled.

"Only if we get nominated for Dance Off, and if iCarly wins." Carly nodded and held out her hand.

"Deal!" Sam and Carly shook on it.

"Girls are scary. I'm getting to class before you two make me do something embarrassing." Gibby left leaving two confused looking girls. The last bell rang and they started heading to class.

"Hey! HELLO? Aren't you two forgetting something?" Freddie reminded them.

"Oh yeah," Sam looked down at the lime green goo she still held. "You want some lime jello?"

"Sam!" Carly snatched it away and tossed it.

"You guys act as if I'm going to agree to dance with that demon in a competition, that if we win, you're gonna let her," he pointed to Sam. "Do something dangerous that may or may not land me in the hospital?"

"POTENTIALLY dangerous," Sam corrected him.

"And she said you wouldn't need surgery." Carly reminded him.

"Oh, well that makes me feel a whole lot better!" Freddie waved around his arms in emphases.

"Quit whining, you know you're gonna do it anyway," Sam rolled her eyes.

"I know," Freddie said glumly. "But I feel like I have to protest on behalf of my dignity."

"What dignity?" Sam Asked. "You're constantly beat up by a girl who weighs 100lbs soaking wet and half a head shorter than you."

"Get to class you monkey headed ingrates!" Mr. Howard yelled at them from the top of the stairs.

"Come on!" Carly rushed them as they headed to class.

At the end of the day, Freddie headed straight for Carly's locker. He knew that Sam usually sneaked into the kitchens after school to grab some leftover fish sticks. Fish stick day…how he loathed it. He wish he would get more than a week's notice when it was coming. He would gladly schedule dentist appointment and physicals if it meant avoiding Sam on fish stick day.

"Hey," he said once he spotted Carly. "Is Sam around?"

She gave him an indulgent smile. "Now you know that she's probably off stealing the left-over fish sticks."

"Good," he said looking around making sure no one could hear. "Listen I need to talk to you about something-"

"This isn't about being my partner is it?" Carly asked a little panicked.

"No…" Freddie replied confused. "Look, I don't think me being Sam's partner is such a good idea. Do you realize how much damage and embarrassment she could cause me on national television?"

Carly laughed. "She already ridicules you in front of the entire iCarly viewers nearly every week."

He rolled his eyes. "It's not the same and you know it. On a good day we get almost a million viewers a show. Dance Off! gets at least twelve million viewers an episode. Not to mention it's in syndication! Do you realize how much embarrassment she can cause me?"

Carly rolled her eyes. "Sam knows how important this is. She wants to win this competition as much as we do. You know that when it comes down to it, she'll be there."

"Yeah well, that's another worry I have." Freddie changed tactics. "Are you seriously going to let her do something that might get me hospitalized?"

"No! Not hospitalized, see a chiropractic for the rest of your life maybe…"

Freddie groaned. "Carly!"

"I'm just kidding." She calmed him down. Don't worry. I've got a plan."

"Really?" He asked eagerly.

"Totally…kinda…sorta-"

"You've got nothing." He said deadpan.

"I got nothing'." She hung her head in shame.

"Carls!" An out of breath Sam rushed into the lockers. She was holding two large cold bags under her arms.

"Whoa!" Freddie's eyes widened.

"Sam?" Carly asked bewildered.

"Here Freddie happy birthday, don't say I never got you anything," Sam shoved a large cold plastic bag at him. "Come on Carls, I need a new bra."

"Wha- new bra? WHOA!" She yelled as Sam dragged her out of the building.

Freddie looked down at the cold bag and wondered what just happened. Suddenly, a large beefy hand grabbed his shoulder.

"Freddie Benson!" Mr. Howard growled. "I should have known it was you! Come on…"

"No,wait! It wasn't me- Sam-"

"You can't blame all your troubles on Puckett, boy."


	3. Chapter 3

CH 3

A/N: Hey guys sorry it's been a while. Been having a little trouble getting motivated to write. I think I'm channeling my inner Sam. So anyway I hope you guys enjoyed IGot A Hot Room, I know I did. Can't wait till the next epi.

Anyway here's the thing…

"I'm ho- Holy Bottle Caps!" Carly yelled into the apartment.

"Hey kiddo, how was school?" Spencer sat on the couch, surrounded by small mountains of bottle caps and dozens of empty root beer bottles.

Spencer was in the middle of drinking what looked like his bajillionth drink. He burped loud and long .

"Sorry… root beer?"

"Spencer… what's with the Forrest Gump imitation?" Carly climbed over a few bottles.

"I need the bottle caps for a sculpture I'm making…ugh my back!" he groaned.

Carly moved forward to help him stand up.

"But why did you drink all those root beers? Couldn't you've just taken the caps and I dunno used the root beer in some yeast?" she asked.

"Yeast?" he asked confused.

"That stuff you use to make bread!"

"Why would I need to make bread? I making a giant bottle shape out of caps!"

"You don't have to make bread, I was just- oh never mind!" she rolled her eyes and gingerly stepped over the dozens of bottles.

"Hey so how's your Dance Off! thing going?" Spencer asked and took another swig.

"I-ew!" she shoved a pile of caps over and took a seat next to him. "We might have hit a minor snag in partners."

"I thought you and Gibby were partnering up and me and Sam-"

"I know, but Tasha thinks I'll fall in love with him if I dance with him," she smirked.

"Seriously?" Spencer looked at her in disbelief.

She reached for an unopened root beer. "Yeah. Can you believe it? Anyway, now Gibby thinks we should let Tasha partner with him, and you and I partner, and Sam partner with Freddie-"

"Freddie?" Spencer nearly spit out his soda.

"Yeah, he's not too thrilled about it either," Carly smiled and struggled a little with the bottle cap. "I think it's a pretty good idea, actually. According to Sam, Freddie's mom is making him take dance lessons and Sam's a pretty good dancer-"

The bottle cap popped off and out burst root beer straight into Carly's face. She sputtered and shrieked.

"Towel?" Spencer offered.

"Yes!" she groaned.

"… and now iCarly presents… another Pathetic Play…this week…the Idiot Farm Girl Who thought the Cowboy's Root Beer Was a Cell Phone."

Sam sat in her usual chair and pulled out a BIG bottle of root beer. "Ahhh nothin' beats th' heat like uh big bottle of rut beer!"

She pulled out a bottle cap opener.

"Heeyyyy!"

"Why hullo there young missy."

"I see you still have that squirrel on your face."

"The what on my who?"

"Is this your new cell phone?"

"My whatcha what?"

"Your new cell phone! Does it have wifi?"

"Oh missy you surely must be one stupid farm girl for this here is my BIG bottle of rut beer!"

"Can you order a new song on pear tunes?"

"For the last time, this here is my rut-"

"Shhh! I'm on the phone!"

"Hey! Gimme me back my rut beer!"

"Can't you see I'm ordering some pizza?"

"What the- ordering- that ain't no cell-a-maphone! It's a rut beer!"

"…and this concludes tonight's installment of…The Idiot Farm Girl Who Thought The Cowboy's Root Beer Was A Cell Phone."

"So we're about done here on iCarly..." Carly smiled into the camera.

"Except-" Sam gave her a look.

"Oh yeah," Carly nodded. "Sam, Freddy and I have gotten into Dance Off! a lot recently. So..."

"We decided why not do our own version of Dance Off!" Sam explained doing a mock Samba.

"Over the next few days, Freddie will be posting videos of Gibby and his partner and girlfriend, Tasha-"

Sam pushed the cheer button on her remote.

"Spencer and I-"

More cheers.

"And last but not least Sam and Freddie-"

This time there were boos.

"Sam!" Freddie said.

"Sorry my finger slipped." she said rolling her eyes.

"Yeah well I'm not too thrilled to be dancing with you either."

Carly gave the camera a weak chuckle. "Sam and Freddie have been 'forced' to be partners for this video since we're short on dancers. Anyway... we want you our fans and viewers to vote for the best dancing couple and next week we'll announce the winners. And they'll do a live performance for everyone's amusement or at least ours."

"Ah hem!" Freddie said from behind the camera.

"Oh yeah!" Sam said. "And we've just found out the show Dance Off will be doing a special three week competition for charity, starring internet stars."

"But the catch is you fans have to go online and submit your nominees in order to be invited." Carly and Sam gave sad faces and pushed the 'aww!' button.

"So go online and submit iCarly so we can show all those webites who's the dancer with the...pancer...?" Sam said numbly.

"ooookay... that's it for iCarly, remember to check out our websites for more details on the Dance Off competition." Carly smiled.

"Pompadour!" Sam waved.

"And we're clear!"

"...'pancer'?" Carly looked at Sam.

She shrugged. "I couldn't think of a rhyming word."

"Ok next time make sure you know what you're going to say before you open your mouth," Carly chuckled.

"Why? That's half the fun!"

"Sam!"

"Guys, we have to make a schedule and decide who's video is going up first," Freddie interrupted them.

"Make Gibby and Tasha go first." Sam grunted and threw herself on a bean bag.

"Why them?" Carly asked flopping down next to her.

Freddie grabbed a clipboard and took the bean bag next to Sam. "Isn't it obvious? They're the reason she's been in a bad mood this whole week."

"Is that why you put frogs in Mrs. Briggs desk?" Carly turned to sam.

"Naw, that was just for kicks. Besides, that wasn't me..." she turned to Freddie.

Carly looked shocked at him. "YOU did that?"

He smirked. "Yep."

"Why?"

"She gave me a B minus on our last quiz because I put Freddie instead of Fredward at the top. I'm gonna have to make straight A's for the rest of the semester to stay on the honor roll." He complained.

Carly turned to Sam. "And YOU helped him?"

She shrugged. "I just supplied the distraction to get it done. Besides it was just an amateur prank. Nothing big and I always do love bringing nubs to the dark side."

"Amateur comment aside, Sam surprised me at not leaving me hanging. I thought for sure I'd get caught. Thanks for taking the blame," he offered a fist.

She stared at him for a second then bumped her fist with his. "Eh, what are frenemies for?"

"Almost...done..." Spencer tried to reach the highest part of his giant sculptured. For the most part, it was done. It just needed to be painted and for the very last bottle cap to be placed at the top.

The only problem was, his ladder wasn't as tall as his twelve foot tall sculpture. Even on his tip-toes he was having a hard time.

"I... can... do... this," he whispered and finally he did it.

"Yes!" he raised his arms in celebratory fashion.

"Hey! Cool sculpture," Carly smiled as she, Sam and Freddie climbed down the stairs.

"Whoa!" Spencer raised his arms in the air and waved them about.

"Spencer!" Carly shouted.

"Watch out!" Freddie yelled.

"Dude!" Sam shrieked.

Spencer smirked and put his arms down. "Just kidding."

"So not funny," Carly frowned.

He climbed down and chuckled.

"Well.. it was a little funny," Sam admitted.

Freddie looked at Sam in disbelief.

"How'd tonight's show go?" he asked wiping his hands on a rag.

"It was good, we've got a lot to do this week though," Freddie said flipping through his clipboard. "Tasha and Gibby will be filming their dance tomorrow, you and Carly the next day, and me and Sam on Monday."

"Wow, that fast huh?" Spencer raised his eyebrows.

"We want to make sure we get all the videos in to give everyone enough time to vote for their favorite," Carly explained.

"Well I guess we better get practicin' little sis'!" Spencer grabbed Carly and spun her around.

"Let go of me you maniac!" she giggled.

"No! We must practice!" he dipped her.

Sam and Freddie chuckled.

"So what time do you want to come over and practice?" Freddie pulled out his clipboard. "I've got some time before dinner or right after's good too-"

Sam yanked his clipboard and flipped it across the room.

"Hey!" Freddie complained. "That's ok I've got everything on my PDA app on my Pear-"

She threw his phone across the room as well.

"Would you stop throwing my belongings around!"

"Stop trying to schedule. When Mama feels like dancin', she'll dance!" she did a mimic of a rumba.

"Carly!" Freddie yelled.

"Nope! You're on your own! I'm dancin'!" she responded as Spencer whirled her into the elevator and up to her studio to practice.

Freddie retrieved his pearphone and clipboard, when he turned to speak to Sam, she had her head in the fridge.

"How long do you think this chicken casserole's been in here?" she asked pulling out a half full Tupperware.

"Knowing Spencer, probably at least a week," he placed his phone and clipboard in his backpack.

She gave a half nod and pulled a fork out from her back pocket.

"Sam!"

"What?" she gave him an annoyed look.

"Put that down, do you want to get sick?"

"If it means getting out of this stupid dancing thing-"

"You know how much this means to Carly," he reminded her and took her fork away and shoved the casserole back in the fridge.

She pouted. "Fine, I'll schedule a stupid practice with you. And give me back my big fork!"

He slammed the utensil onto her hand and pulled out his pearphone. "Like I said, every day after dinner or before's good for me-"

"Every day!"

"Hey, you wanna get nominated or not?" Freddie asked sharply. "Besides, according to Carly you're like some GREAT dancer. You'd think you'd be more serious and competitive. I bet Carly was just exaggerating. You probably can't even tapdance."

She narrowed her eyes, raised her fork high and charged yelling at the top of her lungs.

"AAAAARGGGGHHHHH!"

"Sam? What- no put the fork down!" Freddie held up his pearphone for whatever little protection it could provide.

He didn't have to. Sam stabbed the fork into the counter next to him. She grabbed him by the collar and growled into his face.

"Get your dancin' shoes on Freddelina, cause you and me are practicing before dinner, after dinner and then pre-cal homework!"

"Pre-cal?" he asked weakly

"Yeah I gotta D- on my last assignment, if I don't get at least a C I'm gonna have to redo the class," she explained letting go of him and removing her fork from the counter.

"Uh okay..." he said confused.

"Now come on, and you better hope your mom didn't make something puke worthy for dinner cause it's just gonna put me in a bad mood." She opened the front door.

Freddie grabbed his stuff and followed mumbling. "What do you mean 'put you in a bad mood?' Is this what you call cheerful?"

She scowled at him as he walked past her and then tripped him while he was taking his keys out. After she closed Carly's door she leaned down next to him.

"Oops," she said sweetly and bent to pick up his keys. She opened his door. "Hurry up twinkle toes."


	4. Chapter 4

iDance Ch 4

"Hey Kiddo, how was the mall?" Spencer asked Carly.

"Eh, it was ok," she said hanging up her sweater.

He looked up from putting on the last finishing touches of the Root Beer Sculpture. "I thought you liked Tasha?"

"Well, yeah. She's really sweet...but," she hesitated and flopped onto a barstool.

"But what?" He asked flopping in next to her.

"You know how Sam and I always goof around with the cup sizes at Build A Bra?"

Spencer gave her a blank look. "Nnnoooo, but I do now."

Carly giggled.

"Well anyway, I was using a D cup on my head as a joke and Tasha pulled me aside and started to SHOW me how to 'properly' put a bra on!"

"No! Seriously?" he laughed.

"I know! Don't get me wrong, Tasha's fun if you want to just go shopping and do regular stuff... but since when do I just do regular stuff? I mean I started a web show because my stubborn teacher didn't think snorting milk through your nose and crying it out through your tears ducts was a talent!"

"Yeah the nerve of some people's opinions!" Spencer tweaked her nose.

"Cut it out!" she whined.

"Well, someone's a crabkyjuice!" Spencer pinched her nose once more.

She shook him off grumpily. "No, I'm not. I just miss Sam. And crabkyjuice isn't a word."

"Where is Sam, anyway?" He asks.

She shrugs. "Where else has she been this past week since we finished filming the dancing videos? Practicing with Freddie."

"Still?" He asked.

"Yeah well, according to Sam, Freddie's got two left feet and a crooked tail. Plus she really wants to win."

"Crooked tail?"

Before Carly could explain Freddie ran into the apt, and locked the door behind him. He was wearing an old fashion 1940's outfit with a Fedora hat. He leaned against the door breathing heavily.

"Freddie?" Carly asked confused.

"I can't take it anymore! She's a slave driver!"

"Who?" Carly asked.

"Dude! Cool hat!" Spencer exclaimed.

Before he answered the door opened slightly with the chain stopping it.

"Freddie! Open this door right now!"

"No! You are not-"

"You better open this door before-"

"Mrs. Benson?" Carly heard Sam quietly interrupt.

"Yes dear?" Mrs. Benson answered sweetly. Something that caused both Carly and Spencer to exchange surprised looks. As far as they knew, the only person that liked Sam less than Freddie was his mother.

"Let me try and get it for you," her voice said sweetly.

"Oh will you dear? You are so good with your hands," Mrs. Benson backed away from the door.

Freddie's eyes widened and he quickly backed up from the door just in time.

"AAAaaaahhhhh!" Sam rushed the door and it slammed open, barely missing Freddie who'd fallen backwards onto the couch.

"Sam!" Carly protested.

She was dressed in her red dress she'd worn for her dance number at the Miss Teen Seattle pageant last year.

"Dude! You broke the lock!" Spencer tapped the lock with the metal part of his paintbrush. It caught fire.

"Aaaahhhhh! Why? How?" Spencer freaked.

"I've got it!" Mrs. Benson pulled out a tiny fire extinguisher from her pocket. She put it in two seconds.

"Where'd you get that?" Spencer asked nearly forgetting the fire.

"safetyinyourpocket(.)com," Mrs. Benson responded handing the tiny extinguisher to Spencer.

"Mom!" Freddie cried out. Sam had him in a headlock.

"I got 'em Mrs. B!" she yelled struggling a bit with him.

"It's got a tiny nozzle and everythin-ggaaahhh!" Spencer gagged.

"Oh Sam dear, please let him go," Mrs. Benson.

"M'kay Mrs. B," Sam let go of Freddie immediately.

Freddie dropped like a rock with an "Ow!" behind the couch.

"It's in my eyes!" Spencer screamed. Carly rushed to his side.

"Freddie get off the floor it's filthy!" his mom admonished him.

"Hold still while I clean you- excuse me?" Carly turned to Mrs. Benson insulted.

"Sam dropped me, I'm not here on purpose!" Freddie got to his feet and glared at Sam who was trying to look innocent. Mrs. Benson pulled out a tiny spray and began to spray her son.

"I'll have you know we mop this floor twice a week! AND shampoo the rug once a week!" Carly informed her.

"Of course you do! It's worse than I thought!" Mrs. Benson snapped at her. "Sam do you need some spray dear?"

"No thanks, Mrs. B. I didn't touch the filthy floor." Sam smiled widely, her dimples twinkling.

"Sam!" Carly paused in wiping Spencer's eyes.

"It stings!" Spencer sobbed.

"Fredward Benson, you get back home this instant and finish practicing with Sam! And apologize to her for nearly hurting her." Freddie's mom scolded him.

"What?" Freddie and Carly cried.

"I think I'm blind in one eye!" Spencer moaned.

"Oh for pity's sake! Here!" Mrs. Benson pulled another tiny spray bottle from her pocket and slapped it into Carly's hand. "Two sprays in each eye should flush out the foam."

Carly quickly obeyed and Spencer's whimpering subsided. "Come on I'll take you to your room to rest."

"Now can we go to the ER?" He begged.

"Oh you're fine you big baby!" Sam huffed as she threw herself onto the couch.

Carly sent her an evil look that clearly said, "Shut it!"

"Sam dear, please don't flop down, ladies don't do that." Mrs. Benson said while she fussed with Freddie's hair.

For a moment Sam looked like she was going to push Mrs. Benson over then she smiled and nodded. "Yes Mrs. Benson." And sat up mimicking Carly's usual sitting posture.

Freddie glared at her over his mother's shoulder. Sam's smirk widened.

"Freddie, stop making faces at poor Sam, she was only trying to help you and I-"

"No she wasn't! She's torturing me and enjoying it. And you're enabling her," Freddie shooed his mother off.

"She just wants to make sure you do well in the competition. Honestly, I-"

"Mrs. Benson, Spencer really wants to go to the ER. Do you mind?" Carly lead a bandaged covered Spencer.

"Ouch! You bumped me into the coffee table!" Spencer snapped.

"Please?" Carly pleaded.

"Oh all right. I suppose we can continue this tomorrow. Sam dear I'll see you at dinner tomorrow." she grabbed a blinded Spencer.

"Fried chicken?" Sam sat up straighter.

Mrs. Benson smiled. "Of course, I'll call the farm and have them deliver a chicken. Freddie don't forget to spray yourself when you get home."

She lead Spencer out the door.

Sam flopped onto the couch in a relaxed position once they were gone.

Freddie continued to glare at her from his seat by the computer.

Carly looked between both of them and then shrieked. "what the heck just happened?"

A/n : so what the heck is going on with mrs benson?


End file.
